"The Thirteenth Disciple"  

This is the story of Jesus seen through the eyes of his brother Thomas

Foreword by Edmund Wigram

This story is unique, it has never been told before; it is the story of Jesus told by his young brother Thomas. Most people know about the story of Jesus, but as a Messiah, as a divine being, as someone truly awesome. No one knows what it was like to be with him as a brother, to live with him without awe, as an equal though younger brother.

I wrote this book for Thomas, he guided me into sharing his experiences with Jesus so that I would learn and write his story in my words for our time; he is the source, this is his story. He will not say if he is the Thomas mentioned in the Christian gospels, but it seems likely even though he was so young when he was with Jesus. However his very youth makes it possible for him to have moved on to Egypt and then to India and taught in both places as the apostle of Jesus.

My journey with Thomas took four years, the same as his time with Jesus, and then there was another four years of trying to turn these experiences into words, into his personal Gospel, his unique experiences with his brother Jesus. This has often been difficult, because I am an ordinary person and this is an extraordinary task. I have done my best to live up to his story, to seek to understand and to live his path to love, and in spite of any shortcomings on my part, I know that this book is truth.

When you have read this book then your heart will tell you too that this is an authentic account from the time of Jesus.

Introduction by Thomas

My name is Thomas and I come from Nazareth in the Land of Galilee. This is my story of the four years that I travelled with my brother Jesus. When I was orphaned as a boy Mary and Joseph took me in, and soon after this Jesus returned home from his travels in the east. Jesus was ready to bring his teachings to our people, and he took me with him to care for him, make his camps, find his food, mend his clothes and shoes, and most importantly for me, to learn from him too.

This book is my testimony of the words and actions of the living Jesus during the four years that I was with him; it is my actual experiences of the teachings of love he brought to us in Galilee. Jesus taught us well; first he showed us how to find our innermost heart, and he taught us to make a space for love there. Next he helped us to fill this space with an eternal flow of divine love, and then to open that flow of love to the world, and become a beacon of love for God.

Jesus taught us about love, he only taught love, and he showed us why this is the only thing that matters in our lives. He said that when we die and return to God love is all we can take back to heaven. We draw together the knowledge of love from our life, and we become this love that we have learned, and as this love we return into the being of God.

He taught us how to find the sources of love within the realm of God. Love is the presence of God in our world, so he taught us how to attune to God’s love, and how to hold people in our hearts in love, because when they are in love they are in the presence of God, and this is the essence of healing. Jesus worked so much through healing, and he taught us to do it too, because the power and the beauty of healing is love. Healing is one of the finest ways to help people to become aware of the power of love, and to feel it working, and in their very choice to receive healing a person is opening themselves to love.

Once you have felt the touch of love you can learn to open your heart more easily, and when you are able to open your heart then you can receive love so much more fully. As soon as you are receiving love then everything follows naturally, because love is a flow, and in receiving love you are also allowing love to flow in you. In time you learn to live in that flow of love and to simply be love, and then you are becoming a beacon of love for the world.

Now you can easily fulfil Jesus’ great commandments, to love God, and to love your neighbour as yourself, remembering that absolutely everything in this universe is part of God and is therefore your neighbour, so you are to love all of this creation as you love yourself.

Jesus gave us a vision of God’s purpose in this creation, showing us why this universe is here, and why we are here in it, and where we are going, and how it is all about love. He took us into what was there before the beginning, and showed us that there was only love in the darkness, because this was before the light was born. Here in this great heart of God was dreamed our creation, and all of life within it, including each soul’s path that guides us from the beginning to the end, and he showed us that the soul is the essence of who we are.

He taught us that the soul has been learning about love through all the aeons of creation, and when each soul becomes ready it will flower as love, and as love it becomes God again. When the multitudes of souls are all ready, they will flower into the divine love that they are, and as love they will become the fulfilment of God’s dream and purpose for our universe.

The story of Jesus may change after we are gone, many people followed him, and each will have their own distinctive interpretation to give substance to their personal vision of this extraordinary presence of God on earth. Jesus told us that this would happen, and the way for you to know their truth is easy, as Jesus himself said; “if their words are love then they are mine.”

This amazing brother that I knew was a man of love and compassion above all, speaking powerful truth with great beauty, yet he was a man of lightness too, for he was full of fun. Truly he was a man filled with God’s presence, everyone who met Jesus loved him, and few resisted the supreme truth of his teachings of love.

We now know with certainty the divine truth brought to us by Jesus, and by other great prophets and teachers; this truth says clearly and without compromise, that love is the only way.

And this is my story.

 :::::::::::::::::::::::

 here is an extract from later in our journey.....

Part 4; Jesus' Wider Ministry

Our Journey to Tyre

One day during the early teachings of the apostles, some men came from afar, from the city of Tyre. They asked Jesus to visit them and teach there, saying that he would be welcome, both as a healer and as a man of God. They said that the journey was easy, taking five days with villages along the way where they have friends, and we would be warmly cared for as we travelled. Jesus would not go then, but agreed to visit them in the first month of autumn. So it was that we went there at the same time as the great birds passed us on their journey south to Africa.

At a meeting with the apostles a few weeks before, Jesus had set out new plans for everyone, and told them that he was going to visit Tyre with me to help him, and that he wanted them to make journeys into Samaria and Decapolis. He said that there would be more journeys now, and that the time for group learning was mostly over. The time for doing had come, and for practising with their new skills and it was by doing that they would find out how much they had learned. We talked about the cities that would welcome them, and he asked the apostles to visit them in pairs. He told them that we would return in about seven weeks, and that we would meet in Verdiya again in two months to share our experiences.

We left before dawn, there were three of us, Jesus and I and our guide from Tyre. We walked northwards in the early light over the ridge above Rosariya and after a few hours we came into the fertile upper valley of the Jordan river, full of lakes thick with reeds and thousands of birds, particularly now, because many stopped here to rest for a while and eat their fill before venturing over the long dry deserts of the Negev and Sinai, as they moving on down the valley on their way to Africa. Here we were welcomed by a small community living beside the waters and lakes, and we slept within the endless sounds of the birds talking to each other through the night.

We watched in the early light as small groups of cranes flew low across the land, hundreds of birds visible at any moment, thousands upon thousands of these elegant great birds were moving out to forage for breakfast, with endless talking amongst themselves, they are the most convivial of birds. On the water there were local birds in abundance too; coots, moorhens, dabchicks and ducks, and iridescent turquoise kingfishers, the larger one hovering high and diving down like a tern, the other perching on a reed stem and patiently awaiting the coming of the fish. There were grey herons and white egrets in abundance. The lake teemed with fish to feed all these great appetites.

We watched and listened in the growing morning light, making our morning prayers as the golden rays of the sun were shining up behind the Golan hills and the dawn reached for the day. In the moment when the sun rose the chatter of thousands of voices stilled, and all the life of the lake paused to soak in the new warmth and to welcome the day.

My morning meditation became a deep honouring of God’s beautiful world, and I watched in delight as the endless streams of cranes flew off over the land, and all the while the pelicans sat there and preened themselves, stretched their wings, and yawned, and waited. There were a thousand pelicans just beside us; these are huge birds, and every few minutes one or two would spread their great wings and fly slowly over to join another group.

We set off before the sun grew hot, and the road took us beside the water channels flowing from the lake, and brought us so close to many herons, and to the wild donkeys grazing along beside the waterways. Above us hawks and eagles now filled the sky, rising high on the warm air from the land. Plovers danced and swooped around the lake, playing with each other, pushing themselves to the limit of aerobatic dancing. Swallows were in abundance, feasting on the insects everywhere, swifts too, fewer but never ceasing their graceful circling in the skies.

And then it started. A group of pelicans started to move; a long ribbon of birds flew low across the lake, lifted over the tall reeds, and rose into the air, the ribbon twisting and rippling as they came into their beautiful formation for travelling. They came in orderly groups, maybe up to seventy in a group, sometimes ten or a dozen groups swept up in quick succession, filling the lake with endless movement, and drawing each other up into the skies. In the skies the dance began, as they found the warm air rising, the warm air they had awaited patiently whilst we watched them; they were in the last stages of preparation for the next part of their journey southwards to Africa.

The dance was unforgettably beautiful, awesome in its scale, thousands of birds circling with great wings outstretched; never a wing beat as the warm air lifted them higher. Their colours were rhythmically flowing as they circled; the darker colours underneath changed to brilliant white as the bright morning sunshine caught their backs. Maybe seven groups in all flew as we walked and watched in awed fascination; every bird seemed to know its turn, and joined its group, and the others patiently awaited the moment they knew was theirs. The last group took off almost over our heads, a few feet above us, like a salute to our presence there; huge beaks and mighty wings beating with power as they drew into their ribbons flowing after one another. Then they too started to dance in the warm air above us, a sight of unimaginable grace and beauty, the deep blue sky above and the brilliant white as thousands of pelicans circled effortlessly rising into the sky.

We were filled with wonder at the power and beauty of the gift we had been given; never had any of us seen such a great sight, nor could we have been given a better viewpoint from which to watch the unfolding patterns of the movements of these majestic birds. We were with nature, one with all we watched, our hearts attuned to the gift of being there at this particular unique moment. The seven groups drifted gently after each other down the valley, and up the distant mountainsides. Even when they were out of our sight, suddenly we would just pick out, miles away, the vivid white as they turned towards the sun, and then they would vanish as they turned away and their darker under-colours hid them from us.

What a truly amazing, wonderful, beautiful experience. We felt blessed to have been there and witnessed this awesome event in the natural tides of life in God’s world. In the afternoon we turned westwards and climbed onto the mountain ridge that marked the edge of Galilee. As the sun was close to setting we came to a warm valley in the mountains, filled with fruit trees, and a small village nestling on the western edge, catching the first shade of the afternoon as the sun slipped down into the distant sea. This was a private place, no one would find it by chance, it was far from the busy roads that bring in the great world, and maybe all history had passed it by, allowing the people here to live for centuries in peace. They told us that no Roman had ever been here, but others had, the Greeks found them, but that was centuries ago.

A fine meal awaited us, and we thanked them for their offer of shelter, but we made our beds under the stars amongst the fruits and olives, this was our home, always close to God. In the morning Jesus spoke to the community about his vision of a path to love, saying; "this is the only way; it is time to awaken your hearts, to become aware of God within you, and to live as love."

They asked him many questions, and loved his way with them, he was so light and happy, a living beacon of everything he said. When he offered some healing too, those who wanted came forward, and he passed them over to me to prepare them. Jesus wanted to be in the beauty of the valley for the healing, so he chose his tree, cool and shaded, and far enough from the village to give privacy. I chose my place for the waiting area, a small cluster of olive trees with a large enough space for all who came to sit in shade, yet close enough to hear my voice when I led them into a meditation to prepare them for Jesus.

 

Walking and Talking with Jesus; One-ness Recreated 

In the afternoon we moved on to the next village; it was not far away, a few hours of easy walking in the beauty of the hills. We could see the coastal plain from the hilltops, with its towns and many villages. Our guide told us of the days of the Phoenicians when this had been a rich and flourishing place, but the wealth had long since gone in plunder for their conquerors.

As we walked Jesus reminded me of the group meeting three weeks before and my experience of seeing the moment of my creation. He started talking to me about one-ness; "there is a place in the realm of God where all is yet one, and to here all returns. This is the part of heaven which is beyond our universe of opposites, of masculine and feminine, of past and future, good and evil. This place is in complete one-ness with God, beyond time and space, beyond this bubble of divine dreams; it was here before the moment when God created the dreams of love which became people."

Jesus continued; "you were born from God; you are the conscious dream of God from outside the universe, from this time when there was only love, from before the creation of our universe. In this time of only love, and within God’s being of one-ness, God now dreamed two-ness, the identifying of two balancing essences within the one, and then allowing those two essences to separate, to somehow slip apart, to become two, each two who together make one, and who can coalesce again into one-ness when their time is right."

"This place is in a realm beyond the physical universe, it is not a world within the universe as you might think, it is not a place where you can wander in peace and beauty exploring a new world; rather, it has its existence only in the heart and mind of God in the dream of creation. Your existence came from that place in that dream, not from before the dream, you did not have existence then, everything you are is from this dream, this creation in the heart of God."

"Some of that which is here in this universe is from outside the physical creation, life can come from outside the universe that you understand and still be part of this creation, born of a separate thought, born from another part of God’s dream, and this is indeed how life was formed, and the divine thought then made manifest in the universe. What I am showing you here is the imagination of God in action, creating a living thought and turning it into a living being, and from there into two living beings. Who you were before that divine thought is beyond your comprehension."

Jesus continued; "separation into the two essences of masculine and feminine is like taking a whole star of love and drawing the halves apart into two separate vortices of love, and two things have happened. In addition to the visible separation, there is also the loss of the holy space, the overlapping place within the star of love that was there when the two were one. So for you to imagine what you were in one-ness and can be again, you must be able to know what that divine space is, to understand what holiness you create in the overlapping of the star of love, and from this you will understand some of who you were before the divine thought that separated you."

"With this idea you can understand the scale of the difference between two in one-ness and two apart." He continued with this theme; "humans are seeking the way back into divine one-ness, wanting to feel the way together and apart, wanting to feel the joy of being together but still trying to remain themselves so that they may complete their own individual journey. In reality it is only later that you will be free to explore the shared journey. In the early stages the individual journey is more important than the shared journey; this learning to love who you are is the first step, in order that you can then truly love others. What you will eventually become together is the second step, and in together-ness you will grow infinitely greater than your achievements in separate-ness, but you must make your individual steps first. They will lift you to where you want to be, enabling you to understand and embrace the path to love, and only then becoming love, and one again with God."

"When you become love, then you will find that all along you are the path to love, your return into one-ness is the divine path, creating a new living dimension in God, which is the true purpose of your lives."

"The one-ness of two beings is the fullness of life. As in the separating of the star of love, what you left behind was far more than the two of you apart, the space occupied by the undivided being is a new dimension for you, a new place altogether, a lifting of humanity back into the fold of heaven, a true return to Eden. You must compare the two of you separate in these three dimensions, to the two of you in one-ness in five dimensions. This is so much more than you are now; this is the great path that you are seeking, this mystical union, this holy path to God."

"This is the focus of this truth, the holy one-ness of two beings, the return to before Eden, before creation. The earliest phase of Eden is where you can remember being one, before your separation into Thomas and another, this is a time, as I said before, a time outside the universe, a place of heaven before creation, in the pause between God’s sleeping and waking, in the dreamtime of God, between seeing the dream and creating the intention to make that dream come true. This is when Eden was, it is not of the earth, it is of God before creation, and you will return to it filled with love, enriching the being of God. All will return and become one again, Eden will be renewed, a new garden, filled with those who know, who have eaten of the tree of knowledge, and have struggled along the paths to knowing, to the true sense of knowing what is true, the true sense of knowing what is holy, moving through believing into knowing, from disbelief to knowing, from losing love to becoming love, finally understanding that you are the love you seek, within you is all you seek."

"So having found yourself, having learned to love yourself as you are, you can start to grow towards becoming that one-ness again, you can learn to love another, and in that learning you will become the divine that you are. You will recreate the holy space that dissolved when you left Eden for this creation, when you moved into separation from God and from yourself, and from each other, into the deepest loneliness imaginable, until you knew enough of love to start to know again, and once that sense of knowing lives in you again, you are on your way home to God."

"I am teaching this now to but a few, chosen to keep this knowledge alive through the generations to come, so that the people then can have some glimpses of where they are going."

As we walked down the valley towards the village for this night’s rest, we were again in silence. My heart and mind were filled with the amazing images from Jesus, the vision he gave me was truly awesome. We had arrived in the village and I was so deep in Jesus’ words that I lost sense of the world around me, talking with Jesus was often thus! We were warmly welcomed, and we sat in cool shade to meet our hosts whilst they prepare us some refreshments.

That night in my dreams I found myself again inside the place of creation, and from the great light that was the moment of my creation I walked out into a place of calm and peace, and sat beneath a tree to contemplate my existence, and there I felt the essences of my being beginning to draw apart, I felt the birth of the divine wish for masculine and feminine. Then I noticed many beings going into a doorway, so I moved across the open space and joined them.

Inside was in complete darkness yet with a knowing of divine love. Here was the place where I fell into separation; this was the moment for the falling from one-ness. I can feel it still, not so much a falling as a moving through dimensions, slipping down from the pure high places close to God, out into the valleys, away from the mountain. But it wasn’t only like that; there was no physical image of movement, only an awareness of change, like slipping through the veil, just silence. It felt more like falling than anything, but I think that it was really a cessation of all sensation, suspended in no-time, no-space, no-up, no-down, no-here, no-there, only now and loving darkness in another universe.

In that moment of now, God withdrew the law of one-ness, and we separated into two new essences of our being, like two oils spinning and separating. God polarised my being into that which is more feminine and that which is more masculine, but retained in each the knowing of the other. From these spirals of being two were born, one became two, one-ness dissolved into Adam and Eve, but not them alone, all of us came this way together, born in the creators dream of conscious creatures, knowing beings born from love in this place where only love can be, this heaven suspended between the universes.

This felt to me as if the separation was within, I did not become two separate people so much as one person divided within myself, into the two parts of feminine and masculine. This is the separation that keeps me apart from God, and what I have to do is to resolve this within. This is our human journey to meld again the two streams within, to bring them into perfect harmony within the being of God so that they may coalesce again into oneness, then we are whole again.

That day as we walked on I told Jesus about my dream and asked him if this was the difference between him and me, that he was whole within himself, one being reconnected within, his masculine and feminine beings re-united into one-ness, and as such re-connected to God. He told me that this was indeed the present path for humanity and that he had travelled this way already, and in showing us the way to becoming love he had opened the door into the divine state in which this inner one-ness could be restored. He was here now to bring this knowledge into the world, and when the people of the world have learned this clear and simple truth, they will go through the door he opened and find themselves at the next level.

Only then, when we have arrived there, will he return again and show us the way onward, because the path doesn’t end there, each stage in our learning is but another step in fulfilling the dream of God.

 

Our Time in Tyre

Over the next two days we travelled on, meeting more people as we came into the lower country and followed the course of a river. The land was more fertile here, and there were farms close to the river using the waters to start their new winter crops in advance of the winter rains. Here too as in Galilee the summer parched the earth and burned the crops dry, and then in autumn and winter there was rain, and the rains were due anytime. I was impressed to see the way they carried the waters across their land in pathways, allowing it to flood the crops in the cool of the day and soak deep into the earth.

We came close to the coast between Tyre and Sidon, and then we turned south for a short journey to a little village outside the city. Here we stayed for the next two weeks whilst we met the people of Tyre and Jesus talked to them every day, and healed many too; they welcomed us and listened to Jesus with delight. The five men who came originally to find us in Galilee were with us always; they were deeply moved by Jesus’ presence, and kept bringing more and more people to him, and every day the following here grew.

On the evening of the tenth day Jesus talked to our hosts about whether they wished to continue with his teachings when he returned to Galilee, and they said; "yes! but we do not know how to do it."

Jesus suggested that together they chose twelve people who were willing, and that he would then give these people five days of intensive teaching, to enable them to understand enough so that they too could teach his truths to others. Immediately they started talking enthusiastically about the people to choose, and I recognised each from the ones who joined us every day. Jesus wanted us to invite them quietly, saying that for some it may be more commitment than they wanted to give and it was important for them to know if they were able to do this.

Early in the morning our hosts brought the ones chosen to the village, and Jesus talked about his wish to teach them more about his vision of the path to love. He told them that he wanted them to sleep with the question in their hearts, and that he did not want their answer then, but to tell him in the morning.

The remainder of that day we took as a rest day, and Jesus went into retreat. We had made ourselves comfortable sleeping outside the village in the olive groves, and there was a quiet corner beside a small stream where Jesus went for meditation and cleansing. I spent the day looking out for Jesus, and talking with anyone who came. That evening was the Sabbath and we were going to share it with our hosts, who were not Jews, but Jesus honoured all who honour God. He was happy to share in their sacred practises too, and said that the only way to God is the path to love, but that this was not restricted to any one religion, it fitted with all holy spiritual practises; you did not need to be a Jew in order to find God.

Jesus asked our hosts about where he could do the teaching, he wanted a peaceful place where there would be few distractions so the group could give their full attention, first to Jesus, and then to working together in pairs. Although we were near the city, the village was away from the highways, and the village itself was hidden in a fold of the land, so few people came here. They decided to hold the meetings in the olive grove.

The next morning those offered his teaching came to Jesus to give him their answer, and all accepted. He asked them to wait until everyone had arrived, so that we could have a prayer together, and settle any final details for the group meetings starting the next day, after the Sabbath. Whilst Jesus was doing this, I was choosing a space under a fine ancient olive tree which welcomed me and offered itself to shade our meetings as well as to share them.

There were all the usual things to remember, carrying water, gathering fruit, and finding some more substantial food as they would be there for many hours, but all this could wait for evening. When I went into the village later I found that our hosts had already thought about it too, and baked extra bread and made some cheese, so we were in perfect harmony.

The village had some communal carpets reserved for important meetings, and they were happy for us to use these too. In the cool of the evening with some help we took them down to the olive tree and laid them out to catch the morning’s shade. Then I had another meditation at the base of the tree, and embraced it in my heart’s love in the way that Jesus showed us before, and then listened; "wise men have passed here often in my great life, but none have came back again as you are doing, to sit with me and share God’s love, it is what we are here for, to love God and to share God’s love with all creation." I sank into this loving space, falling into the aura of the tree to share love as deeply as possible.

We enjoyed five wonderful days while Jesus was teaching these people of Tyre. They were gentle and kind, a loving people, their hearts already half way there, so they opened easily. Jesus showed them how to do it fully and deeply, and how to help others too, taking them through a similar series of exercises to the ones he taught in Galilee. For Jesus it was clearly a delight, he was so pleased with these people who took him into their hearts knowing that he was the one for them. He compared their trust with the people of Korazim and Bethsaida, where he had made many miracles, and still there were people there who would not accept his divine message.

When we came to the star of love they blossomed into ecstasy, it was as if this knowledge was already in them and awaiting Jesus’ teaching to show them how to open the door. He told them too that this was a mystery for use by chosen people, and that they should teach it only to the ones who will pass on their knowledge to the future, and he suggested that each of the twelve here would find another to teach before they died and so on through the generations to come. He told them that a day would come when people everywhere would awaken and know it was time for the path to love. This too was a land of prophets; this too was a land of richness and beauty blessed by God, these people being taught by Jesus were fore-runners of prophets to come.

When our days here were completed, and it was time to move on, our hearts were so full of the friendship and love we had shared, and our eyes filled with many tears of joy. Saying farewell was difficult knowing we might not meet again outside our hearts.

Jesus wanted to travel a different path back into Galilee, and our guide came with us to show us the way through the mountains past the spring of Dan and on to the town of Caesarea Philippi. This journey to Tyre was an exceptional experience for me, it was the farthest I had ever been from Nazareth, and I had walked in the great sea, and felt its freshness with delight, and the cleansing of the saltiness, and the vibrance in the air. I had met another people who were unknown to me, and I had found that they too have great hearts. Jesus told me that this is the human characteristic, once in a loving place, their great hearts open with ease.

In a few days we came to the spring at Dan and made camp here for a day of quiet retreat. In the morning our guide wished us peace and farewell and set off home, and we embraced warmly knowing the wonder of all that had happened. The river flows well from this great spring, even though it was at its lowest now before the rains of winter. Once Jesus was settled beside the spring itself, I moved down the stream and there were many places for me too. I chose a tree hanging over the river, with a grassy bank in its shade, and connected with my divine soul and with God. I found myself praying the words of a prayer that Jesus taught us recently.

The words that resonated in my heart were the end of the prayer; "You are the eternal song that is the beauty in all creation." The living water flowing from the mountain was so pure and clear, it sparkled with beauty, it sparkled with God, it spoke in soft gurgles and chuckles, like a happy child, it was beauty come alive. Damsel flies were in abundance, glorious turquoise blue with dark patches on their wings, and green ones, and red ones, and dragonflies too; great golden fishes swam here taking little flies from the surface, their red and brown speckled sides shimmering in the ripples of the water.

A little kingfisher came by, maybe on his way to Jesus; perhaps an angel told him that Jesus was here, and he was going to dance for God. New life was springing up amongst the trees and bushes alongside the water, strong green leaves were pushing up the earth preparing for their dance of love, and already they were in the dance; "God is the dance; God is the eternal song that is the beauty in all creation."

 

 Caesarera Philippi

We went into the city of Caesarea Philippi in the morning, going in quietly from the countryside, walking alongside fields where already there were people preparing the earth for planting their winter crops. The early rains had fallen and the soil was ready. We sat beneath a great tree, its spreading branches shading the path, and we talked together about our journey to Tyre. Jesus asked me if I felt ready to make such a journey myself, to meet and talk with people anywhere, and to heal the sick, and to teach them the path to love. I told him that I knew I was ready, I knew that I could do these things, and I would do them when my time came, but whilst I could be with Jesus and hear him speak I did not want to go alone, each day with him I learned more, and each year I grew more towards manhood.

A couple came from the fields and sat with us under the shade of the tree, and we all smiled a welcome to each other. Jesus asked them if the earth was good, and if the crop would flourish, and they say it was so, their seed was ripe and ready and the earth was alive with the rains of autumn, and God was smiling upon them. They had been together for but a few years, and every year their land flowered more for them, and the earth yielded her bounty into their arms. They spoke of their gratitude for this abundance.

Jesus asked them to show him their hands, and he held them between his own, and spoke a prayer of blessing, sharing with them a giving and receiving of love, and an awareness of love in all creation. Jesus asked angels to bless all that they did in love. The woman went and fetched their bags of seeds, and asked Jesus to bless them too; of course he agreed, and she placed them neatly together on dry stones, and we all sat around them making a circle. First Jesus asked them what they did to prepare themselves and their seed for sowing, and together they told us their story.

They started with the harvest of the year before, giving thanks to God for the beauty of their crops, and taking the best for the seeds of this year, and storing it in dry jars in the cool of a small cave in the hillside. She added that every week they visited the cave and spoke words of love and gratitude for the year to come, for the bounty of the sleeping seeds yet to be sown. Now that the season of sowing was here, they had been bringing the jars into their home to sift the seed to see that all was good. She said that as their hands flowed through the seeds they held a sense of appreciation in their heart for the plants that will flourish from these seeds. They felt their connection with the life spirit of the plants themselves, and they would imagine each growing into the fullness of its ability, and giving crops of supreme beauty. Each seed was now being planted with love, in the place it was meant to be, so each one can flourish abundantly.

Jesus thanked them for telling us all that they do, and while we were holding the seeds in love to bless them, I saw a vision of the abundance of the years to come, and the harvests growing each year and giving them increase upon increase, and I saw their children's children were all helping them too. Their whole great happy family was sitting under this tree as we were doing now, blessing the seeds for sowing year after year, and passing on this wisdom for all the generations to come, and I told them what I had seen.

Jesus said to them; "always when you see in your heart what you want to be, and feel its goodness, then it will happen; this is God’s law. You have discovered this through the goodness of your own hearts, and seen how the earth and the plants respond to your loving vision of abundance. Do this always, in all things in your lives, and you will be blessed beyond measure, God will smile upon you and bring you your heart’s desire."

The man told us their names; his wife is Ruth and he is Barak. He knew from our voices that we came from Galilee, and was surprised to see us coming from the west out of the hills, so he asked who we were. We told him about our journey from Galilee to Tyre, and the wonderful experiences we had there. He asked us if we knew the two fishermen who had recently arrived here in Panias from Capernaum, he said that they had been healing and talking about love as Jesus does; Ruth told us that their names were John and Andrew. We laughed with delight, and Jesus told them about our mission for God, the teaching of the path to love. Tears of joy filled their eyes, to find that this was Jesus sitting with them, blessing their life together here, speaking with them as their friend, and loving them and what they did. Ruth asked Jesus if he would be teaching here too, as he did in Tyre, taking twelve people and showing them some of God’s mysteries of love.

Jesus answered; "I am here, and if God brings me twelve good people to teach then I am happy that it is so, and if both of you will be part of the twelve then I am very happy too. Let us create a vision of a gathering happening here, beneath this great tree. In your heart see twelve good people, from around this city, and me here to guide you; let us feel the holiness this represents, its power for God." So we did, we made a prayer together in our hearts, and asked God to bring it into being, knowing that it would happen because we had seen it and felt its goodness. Jesus said that whatever we truly wanted in our hearts was holy, and God would send angels to bring it to us.

Ruth insisted that we stayed with them for our time in Caesarea Philippi, which they call Panias. The next day we went into the city to join John and Andrew. Barak told us who would know where to find them, and we delighted them with the surprise of our arrival. They took us with them to the meeting they had arranged by the source of the Jordan River, beside the great spring flowing from a cave in the cliffs below Mount Hermon.

Many people were gathered already, looking forward to John speaking to them. He was so close to Jesus and so in tune with all that Jesus taught, he was becoming a true Apostle, bringing the presence of Jesus through himself, being Jesus when Jesus wasn’t there. We sat quietly with Andrew, finding a place on the rocks beside him, and John began to draw the crowd into his heart. More people were coming to join us, bringing a rumour that Jesus was here, and John embraced this too without telling them yet that Jesus was indeed here.

Once the new arrivals had found places to sit and settled down John took us all into a prayer of gratitude; gratitude for the gifts from our loving God, for the rains of autumn, for the crops of winter, and for the flowers and fruits of springtime. He could be Jesus speaking; his heart embraced us all, he was holding us in his love, and helping us to experience gratitude. Everyone was smiling in their hearts; he held us all in happiness, with a deep awareness of the beauty of gratitude.

Then he asked us to feel gratitude to someone who loved us, to feel grateful for their love, to open our heart to their love, to drink it in like sunshine, to allow it to flow within us, to touch every part of our being, to fill us with their love.

Next he asked us to feel God’s love for us, God’s ever present love, God’s ever flowing love, and to feel grateful for God’s love too. To open our whole being to God’s love, to drink it in like nectar, to allow it to flow through us, to touch every part of our being, to fill us with divine healing love. He asked us to feel any place in our body where we wanted to be healed, and in our hearts to say "yes! please heal me here" and to feel the deepest "thank you" that our gratitude could imagine, and then to be still, to be at peace, to rest in this healing. A deep hush filled the valley, even the birds were quiet, and the water flowed with a whisper.

John had a wonderful gift, it was Jesus’ gift alive in him, and his great heart held us in that peace for a long time before the first sounds of people’s hushed words awoke us and brought us back to where we were beside this holy spring. John talked of love, and they were all held in his arms, held in his heart, they were not yet wanting Jesus, they were happy for now to be with John.

I could see that Jesus was now looking over the crowd; he could see their auras, and he was looking for the ones who might learn with him. As John stopped for a rest Andrew had a drink of water ready for him, and Jesus told them about his wish to teach a group here to continue after we had gone, to hold the path of love open for others to find. He said that he was now seeking the ones they might invite, and asked John and Andrew to think about the people they had met so far.

Then Jesus spoke too and the valley hushed again as his heart touched them all. The people here were from many faiths, honouring God in diverse ways, and willing to listen to new ideas. The beauty of Jesus’ teaching was that it flowed alongside all religions, it was that which gave life to all the great faiths, it was already in the hearts of all people. Everyone was able to fall into his truth, because his truth was love, so everywhere we went he taught people to feel their hearts. From this awareness of love he invited them to love God, and then to love themselves and their neighbour the same. He showed people so many doorways into love, drawing on all the wonders of nature around us, feeling the flowing seasons, the rhythms of the sun and the moon, seeing the beauty everywhere.

"What are the great gifts from God?" he said, "love is the first gift, love is who God is, and so God is the first gift you are given, but this gift is so much more, it is life itself, it is God surrounding you and filling you with love that makes you live. Every moment of your life is sustained by God, breathing life into the dust of the earth that is you, God’s breath of love is life. Knowing this you can see how you are held in the image of God, the breath of life that flows though you like a living stream is God’s love, that in you which is life is God’s love, you are that love, you have only to choose to live as God has invited you to live, and all God’s gifts of love are yours."

"Prayer is the second gift, prayer is your communion with God, it is how you talk with God, and how you ask God for what you want in your life. Prayer can only be in your heart, because for prayer to work it must come from love, so it must come from your heart. You are filled already with the deep sense of awareness that you have just experienced with John, it is in this awareness that you find God, it is in this sense of love that you find the divine within you."

"Prayer is a way of life; when you pray in love in your heart, then what you pray for comes to you, your prayer is always answered, this is God’s promise to you, to all of us. Ask and it shall be given to you, it is how you ask that matters. When your prayer is from your heart filled with joy, with happiness, with beauty, with love, in connection with God, in communion with God, these are the prayers that are answered, and they are answered with the joy, the happiness, the beauty and the love, these are your rewards for bringing these feelings to God."

He was showing us how everything responds to our love, and how God gives us willingly that which we ask for in love, and he emphasised this saying; "you must ask in love, from a feeling of love, from a feeling of the goodness of being alive, from a sense of deep peace, from a sense of harmony with all life, and from gratitude too. God will give you good things if you ask from a sense of good. It is true that as you sow so shall you reap, and if you sow love, and with love, then your reward is love many times over."

"In your prayer, see what you want to come into being, whether it is the seed becoming a plant of abundance and beauty, or you being the seed, and you growing into abundance and beauty. See it in your heart, hold the vision in love, and ask for it, and it will be given to you. Try to sense the gratitude that you will feel when it is given to you, allow your gratitude to flow too for the gift you know is coming to you."

"Next in your prayers ask for that which you want in your life, and it is important to be already in holiness when you ask for yourself, so that you know that these requests are worthy and that you are able to feel good about asking for them. Make a shining vision of who you want to be and how you want to live your life; let it become a daily prayer in your heart. Hold this prayer in your heart and it will happen, God will bring it to you. See yourself becoming that which you want; and hold this vision, and ask again in your prayers each day, holding the vision in this wonderful sense of joy, happiness, abundance, and peace. You will receive all that you ask for because God has promised this, remember I told you God’s words "ask and you shall receive."

"You are now in perfect communion with God and with yourself, and deep in your heart, and now is the time to pray for those you love, and to ask for what you want God to bring to them, always feeling the joy and love of your connection to God. With each step in your prayer you become closer to God, your heart merges with the divine flow of God’s love filling your being."

"Your next prayers can be for all people, maybe you will ask for their enlightenment, always remember that you cannot bring this for them, your prayers will bring them openings, moments of opportunity when they will glimpse this other way, and then they are free to choose this or not to choose it. You can pray that they do choose it, but it is still their choice, and you must accept this in your prayer for them. In praying for them you bring your loving presence into their aura, and you do make a difference. If many people pray for one person then they together bring a strong loving presence into that person’s aura. So when one is in need, and many pray for them in this way, wanting to see them well again, seeing them healthy and well again and wanting it to be so. This person is embraced with the healing love of all their prayers, and has a choice, to respond to this beautiful feeling and open to it, or to do something different. This is their choice, you must accept that they do not have to receive your prayers, and might choose another path."

"The next prayers are for all creation, a deep sense of awe at the majesty of God’s creation, a sense of gratitude for the abundance of this world, for the beauty in the colours of the flowers, see the dragonflies all around us here, and the birds. You exist because they exist, you are all part of one amazing creation, each has its place in God’s vision. Feel a deep gratitude for all of this, and if it is time, ask for the rains to come, to fill the earth, to nourish the trees and plants, and to swell the seeds of your crops in the fields. See these things in your heart, feel the joy of your crops filling and growing abundantly with the falling of the gentle rains, and ask for this, tell God that this is what you want."

"Then thank God and all the angels for their love and their gift of all these things that you have asked for, feel the peace in your heart from the sense of knowing that God loves you, that God knows you and will give you all that you want."

"This is God’s way, it is one of the great gifts you are given, it is God’s promise to respond to all you pray for, all you ask for, all you want in your hearts. God has sent me to show you this, so you may choose, and choose love knowing how to find love, and to live as love. This is the way, it is the only way to God, it is the path of love."

"Prayer is joy, it is through prayer that you manifest joy in our world; let us now pray together. Feel your heart, your sacred place of love, be there in your awareness, and speak these words with me, aloud and feeling them in your heart; "Beloved maker of this great creation, hold me within the holiness of your living love" and he took us through a prayer of praise for God and for our path in learning through loving God.

Jesus sat down after the prayer and there was silence in the valley, even the gentle gurgles and chuckles of the water flowing past us seemed muted, the dragonflies rested in glory on the twigs and stones beside the water, silently reflecting; the birds rustled quietly in the undergrowth, everything here was hushed by the presence of God made manifest by our prayer together. Jesus and John together were truly wonderful to be with, to experience their vision of the path to God is deeply moving.

Andrew had been reflecting on Jesus’ wish to teach twelve people here, and he was watching everyone to see who seemed deeply connected with what we had been doing. He and John between them brought out eight names, and Jesus added Barak and Ruth, so we had ten already. Jesus looked at the crowd with Andrew and John, and together they identified the ten, and Jesus asked Andrew to invite each of them to meet us in the late afternoon to talk about a more intensive teaching programme.

Then Jesus looked over the crowd too, seeking the other auras that spoke to him, and he saw two young people coming up from behind some rocks close to the river, and he immediately knew that they were the two he wanted; he pointed them out to me, and asked me to invite them.

I walked across the rocks, stepping from one big stone to the next, and when I was still thirty paces away I stopped and sat, and watched them coming towards me. They were so full of excitement, talking quickly to each other, each wanting to say what they felt, each wanting to hear the other too. This was funny to watch, and I started to laugh, and then they saw me and they start laughing too. They seemed to be a few years older than me, but I am older than my years so perhaps they saw me as their age too. They were a young man and his girl friend, and they were clearly courting, but they had no chaperone with them. Maybe their parents felt that this gathering was a safe place for them with so many others here who knew them.

They stopped beside my rock, leaning against it on the cool side, in the shade, and the man said; "I saw you with Jesus, he is amazing, what an experience to hear him, he frees my mind and spirit and lets me soar like an eagle!" his girlfriend nodded her agreement, and then added; "I didn’t want to come, it seemed a dull idea, but I am so glad we came, John and Jesus are like angels speaking from God, knowing what God means us to do, telling us so clearly, I feel so different and so happy to be here."

I asked them their names, Esther and Dan, and told them that Jesus was inviting some people to come for more teaching, and that he felt they might be the right people to be there. Their eyes filled with tears, they couldn’t believe it, they were overjoyed, and danced a little jig in their excitement, wiping their eyes on their sleeves as they swung each other around. When they stopped, the girl was still crying with a happy smile on her face, and she said; "do you know what I have just said to Dan as we walked towards you, I said that I want to learn all this man can teach me. It is as he said in his prayers, ask what you want for yourself in your heart and it will come to you, God will give it to you; but this is so quick, you were here before I said it, Jesus knew before I said that to Dan even, before I really knew it myself, so God knew I was going to ask and he brought you here to give me the answer to my prayer, I can’t believe it!" Tears were pouring down her cheeks now, it was a lifetime of tears flowing from her like a spring pouring from the mountain, and all of a sudden she sat down looking so serious in her tears. She could feel something very profound was happening to her, and her heart was aching too.

I told her; "your heart is awakening, it is longing for love, from Dan and from God too, and now suddenly you have found a fountain of holy love, and your thirsty heart is drinking it like the nectar it is. You two will find love like no other; you are blessed by God, as will be your children, their children, and their children’s children for countless generations."

I paused whilst they absorbed this idea of a new life, and we sat in silent communion for a few minutes. I wanted to leave them alone together to assimilate their experience, and added as I got up to leave; "Jesus has asked that you meet him in the late afternoon as the sun cools, and you will find us under the great tree just outside the city’s southern gates." They told me that they would be there, and would go home first to eat and to tell their families what was happening and where they would be that evening.

Esther’s mother came with them to meet Jesus, because she wanted to feel comfortable about leaving the young couple. She walked to the great tree outside the gates; the dusty red-brown earth road was busy with people taking their animals to the safety of home for the night. She sailed majestically along the road to the tree, with all the style of a great lady. She was dressed in brilliant turquoise from her neck to her toes, and she wore a fine scarf over her head and shoulders. She was magnificent, with Esther walking beside her and Dan beside Esther. They were at ease with each other, there were no stresses between the mother and the young couple, there was trust, but there were traditions too, and a daughter would not be left unattended in the evening when the shadows grew.

She walked straight to Jesus. He looked deep into her with his loving eyes, and she felt immediately his radiant warmth, and was soon smiling with pleasure at meeting him. She asked him how she would protect her daughter’s virtue if she left them here with Jesus, and he laughed gently and warmly, and said that they were safe with him. He added that it was whether they were safe in their hearts that was important, God could see their hearts’ wishes, and God would give them what they asked for. He said that Barak and Ruth were coming now, and he pointed to them just coming through the great gate, and asked if she would feel reassured if Ruth were to take responsibility for bringing Esther safely home.

Esther's mother didn’t know Ruth, but she was willing to ask her, and we waited until they arrived. I spread a carpet for them to sit on whilst they waited, close by the roots of the great tree. I could feel the tree aquiver as if with anticipation at what was to come, it could surely feel Jesus’ presence, his love and respect for life. Maybe it could also distinguish between our group and the usual passing crowds; many stopped in the shade during the day, but in the evening it was usually quiet, people went home to rest and eat and to prepare for the night. This evening was going to be a delight for everyone including the tree.

Ruth was happy to be with Esther, and they warmed to each other instantly, here was a new friendship starting, and Esther’s mother was all smiles, her duty was done and her daughter was happy too, so she was delighted. She thanked Jesus and wished us all a fine meeting, and departed happily to her domestic duties for the others in her family.

We were all sitting on the ground at the foot of the bank, except for Jesus, he was perched on a root curving across the bank, so he was a little above us, and all could see him and he could see them. Andrew and I were sitting beside the group, close to Jesus; John was at the other end, sitting against the bank just behind the backs of the group. The road was nearly empty now; we had the place to ourselves.

Jesus told them of his journeys and of his purpose to pass on the knowledge of God’s greatest gift, the gift of love, and to teach them so that they too feel able to pass this wisdom on to others. In this way the knowing of love would be there for the generations to come, and could be ready to flower whenever its time was right. He told them that he wanted them to think about this invitation, to sleep with it in their heart tonight, and to bring their answer to him tomorrow at the house of Barak and Ruth.

Jesus gave each one a crystal stone as a symbol of his invitation. He told them that all crystals were precious gifts from the earth, and that he had given each one a blessing too, so if they held the stone in their heart place, then it would help them to know what was right for them.

Then he talked about love; he told them that every particle of creation had love, and was aware of love at its own level, even the dust under our feet had a tiny spark of awareness, and our presence here was being imprinted in the earth by the message we brought, which was love.

My attention was suddenly caught by a movement in the corner of my vision as a monkey swung across the branches of the tree, and came to sit above us, as if she too was listening to Jesus. I also noticed that a traveller had made a small camp on the far side of the tree, with his few animals; he must prefer to sleep here under the stars rather than in the security of the city.

For a moment I lost track of Jesus’ words, he was now talking about pathways through which love flows, saying; "love flows into our world though the hearts of those who love, and this channel is there for you all the time, it is your own source of the love that sustains you and makes you live, and in order for this to become a flow for the world, you must open to it."

He said that it was now time for a meditation; "to guide you here, to feel this place, to know where it is within you, and to be able to be here whenever you want."

He asked us all to relax, to feel our bodies nestling into the earth, to feel the peace here under this ancient tree. After a pause he said; "feel your heart, the centre of your being, take your awareness there now, be conscious in your heart, and feel the peace here deep within you." He always spoke at a gentle speed so that we could assimilate his words and turn them into our own inner vision and experience; next he said; "create your own place of beauty here, and go there in your mind, see your self there, in perfect peace in this place of beauty in your own heart."

"Ask now to be shown the way to the most sacred place in your heart; here you will find a well spring of love, pouring into your heart like a stream of living water. This is divine love which is coming from your divine soul, the part of God who cares for your every moment of existence in the world. Feel your deepest sense of gratitude for this love, say thank you to all who bring it to you, to all who keep you alive."

"It is important to understand that all life is alive only because of this breath of life from God, every moment of life is sustained by love, from the smallest insects or tiniest leaves to the largest animals, and to people, all live because of this, and only because of this, this is the foundation of life. See now the living creation with new eyes, sitting beside the spring of love in your own heart, see too the springs of love in all of life, this is the manifestation of God’s love; the very existence of all life is a manifestation of God’s love."

"Now you see how the world is full of love, everywhere there is love, and everywhere in you too, the love that makes you live flows from the spring in your heart, filling your heart, and flowing on into every corner of your being, to the tips of your toes and your fingers, and the very hairs of your body, all receive this flow of God’s love. Feel this loving flow giving life, allow it to touch all of you, help it to flow everywhere to cleanse and purify you, to heal and sustain you, to renew you in your quest for God’s purpose for you."

"Now from the power of your renewed being open your heart to all creation, allow your love to flow to all of God’s creation, feel deep gratitude for this amazing world we live in, and gratitude for the love itself that makes it all alive, all life sparkles with promise, bursting with love longing to pour out into the world."

"Love is waiting patiently within life for the opportunity to flow out from life itself into all creation. We are the moment of change that this world awaits, we have the intellect to understand this opportunity, and as each person opens their heart to radiate their love they become a light shining, and the world changes a little with the light of their flame, and when enough join them the earth will shine like the sun, becoming a beacon shining our love back to God."

"See this vision in your heart, hold it in your love, and radiate this vision to all creation, for they too will come with us into the new light." He waited quietly whilst we were all deep in the meditation, seeing this new vision, and offering it to the world.

The monkey broke the silence first, having sat in silence all through the meditation, enwrapped in Jesus aura, feeling the depth of our experience together; maybe she was there to share this vision on behalf of the animal kingdom. Her first sound was a most human soft sigh, which was delight, and then she went into ecstasy, sending out high "yip! yip!" sounds as she danced on the branch, doing some summersaults, then swinging down below the branch closer to Jesus head. His most benign smile lit his face, and he held up a hand to touch the excited monkey, who dropped down into his arms and snuggled into his shoulder.

We all sat there in delight for a few minutes, watching him with the monkey. The sun had set, and the evening cool was rolling down the mountain pushing away the heat of the day, so people were ready to move, feeling that it was time to go home. Each person thanked Jesus for their invitation, and he smiled saying; "come to Barak and Ruth’s home tomorrow morning, we will talk about the details of the meetings then."

The pattern of the next days mirrored the time in Tyre. We held the group meetings under the tree in Barak and Ruth’s field, in the place where we first felt the welcome of Panias, and where at Ruth’s request we made the prayer to bring together a group of twelve to learn from Jesus. Wherever Jesus went he radiated love, and changed the world around him, and here in Panias dozens more people have opened their hearts to love. The twelve that Jesus taught can now hold their community in love too, and when we left to return to Galilee the town felt like another beacon, able to touch the hearts of those who came here

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